Being seniors in the digital age:
I belong to the generation which has begun its life in the fifties of the 20th century and thus electronic gadgets, digital invasion of every space of our personal life in the present century is overwhelming. I sometimes used to wonder whether it is only me  in such a plight. I get a little assurance when I see grandmothers like me fumbling with the smart phone. Many of my friends used to say that they do not know much about the working of these gadgets and their sons/daughters only help them.
Then there are quite a few of my friends whose sons and daughters are living abroad. Vasantha happily chats with her grandchildren through Skype every week; Partha Mama(uncle) has to manage his son's (who lives in Canberra) bank accounts and transactions online. Many others pay their bills, book train tickets online.
But can I remain aloof and unaffected by the New age changes and information explosion?
With determination, I took on the task of dealing with all the buzz words - RAM, CPU, Monitor, cursor, Ctrl+c and many more - and slowly found my way into the digital age.
It is not a smooth process but nor is it an insurmountable problem. The learning still continues with occasional setbacks.
Relevance and value:
Most people of our generation do not have experience with the use of computer technology and without previous experience cannot think of the relevance of computers. The new learning will make sense only when we relate it to the life of learners. Like my globe trotting friends, we need to find a value/meaning to this learning. Ask yourself these questions: How is it going to be useful for me? Will my life be easier and less lonely? Can I do my shopping without stepping out of the house? With every aspect of our life going digital, it is necessary for all of us. Those who were in banking sector or in certain government offices when  a large scale digital transformation was introduced, had no other choice but to undergo computer training. 
As far as I was concerned, besides the obvious necessities, I felt a compelling desire to learn more about using technology in teaching. If I teach the value of curiosity, thirst for knowledge to my students, it is only fair that I follow these myself.
Initially I felt a little awkward being on the other side of the table as a student learning from a 'twenty something young woman'. (Hey! Where is an open mind seeking knowledge from any corner?)
Most of the times, the young people treat us with respect and are ready to patiently teach us. 

Motivation and conviction: 
What happens now that we know that computers are very much essential in our daily dealings? Still we may lose steam half way through. It is worth taking those friends who are tech savvy as our role model. Within our mind we can even compete with them to attain certain self sufficiency. But, remember at all times that each of us come with different abilities and aptitudes.
When we can use computers in many of our tasks, we certainly become confident and it improves our memory.
We need to be patient with ourselves no matter what others may think about it. but the key to success is tirelessly working at learning the skill. 
How do we learn?
I think, we may learn efficiently by writing down instructions or any other concepts. If you have a patient listener, you can describe  all that happened in class to that person and demonstrate as well.
Reinforcement and encouragement:
If I do not use/apply the theory regularly, how would it become part of my knowledge and skill? A great opportunity came my way - assisting in compilation of research materials, books and other sources about the Indian Ocean region.
In the early stages, I would begin my session before the system with trepidation - some days it would be the mouse in an unresponsive mood, at other times the cursor would refuse to budge! I had difficulty in putting together the ideas in a neat lay out and present a word document. But the person with whom I was working, was ready to guide me in a manner that I understood my mistakes. My daughter , wherever she was ( in the midst of her work even!) obliged me in providing distance instruction. Slowly, I have moved to that point from where I am able to work online related to teaching and text books.
Challenges:
But I get stressed when the gadget behaves unexpectedly or abnormally. Just imagine sitting alone in front of the system and working on an assignment. Suddenly things go haywire. I do a mental check. "No, I didn't press any key by mistake. I was in the midst of work. " Will you tend to run to an young person who is helpful at such times or not? You can but before that we can try to ask help from  the web itself. There are many videos giving step by step instruction. I do this random search at least weekly once to see whether I am able to follow the instructions successfully. (Many times, I am not able to follow the instructions is another story. But it is exciting to try again.).
If I am not ready to jump into the water, how will I learn swimming? Challenges sharpen the mind and we get to analyse the problem ourselves. I know, I will surmount the challenges but in my own time. I think of the things that I figured out myself (when no one is there to help) and see some of my friends who have worked out every principle themselves. Sure, I can also learn to do things on my own, can't I?
Let's break the barriers!
Age certainly has brought certain disadvantages like failing eyesight and hearing ability, lack of coordination of muscles and slow loss of memory. One need not feel ashamed or depressed about these things. We can demand user friendly fonts, colours, content-layouts and simple uncluttered menu bars and tool bars.
Let us come out of our comfort zone, broaden our horizon, enlarge our social circle and reach out to others in need.    

Road trips

Travel, wander, explore, move, journey, trip - how many ways I can refer to my move from Thiruvannamalai to Chennai and back!
Whatever be the name I like all the activities leading finally to the actual travel - plan the grocery, vegetables, milk and other supplies in such a way to finish them all just before travel, completing other tasks, packing and to be ready on time early in the morning!
I have been doing this road trip between these two places four to five times roughly every month for the last 3 months.
The early morning air is always refreshing. Every creature wakes up slowly to the gentle and warm touch of the Sun, welcomes the new morning with pure joy. I look out of the window with the speeding wind against my face - all things initially were like a haze or one dark lump but slowly becoming distinct like the firm strokes of the artist's brush.
The small villages still manage to retain their quaint charm - heap of hay, smell of cattle, occasional smell of the wet farming lands and places - Pennathur, Melpappampadi, Chenji, Pakkam.... we go past these beautiful little places waking up to another new morning.
Looking at those remains of the ramparts of the great fort of Chenji is a great experience in itself. The silent spectators of kingdoms gone, how would they have been during some glorious past!
What utter lack of imagination and inability to appreciate the history - that would have driven the government to break these walls (with much difficulty, I heard) and build road connecting Chenji to to places further north and northeast like Chennai! (There are so many such half formed thoughts - some related and some others disconnected - filling my mind which would help me later in my classes)
In and trough all these flashes of ideas, I feel I am part of everything around me, like the fort walls, the tall Palmyra trees, the chirpy birds, the milk man, the ladies cleaning their front yard and the distant azure mountains. I am in complete harmony there and a rare feeling of affinity shatters all barriers and in that moment of merging with all, I feel blessed and elated.
  

Road trip -

சாலைப் பயணம், காலையில் ! 
காலைப்பயணமே ஒரு தனி அனுபவம் தான்! இந்த காலை பயணங்களில்   அதுவும் சாலை வழிப் பயணங்களில் நான் கை தேர்ந்த அனுபவசாலின்னு  நிச்சயமா சொல்லிக்கலாம் !
பள்ளிபருவத்திலிருந்தே மதுரையிலிருந்து திருச்சிக்கு எல்லா விடுமுறையிலும் போவேன். அந்த அனுபவம் ஒரு தனி  சுகம் !நாளையிலிருந்து  - ஆஹா நாளையிலிருந்து லீவு தவிர அப்பா அம்மாவைப் பாக்கப்போறோம்ங்கற ஆவல், இதோடு கூட தனிமையில் பயணம் ! பெரிய பெரிய புளிய மரங்கள், தூரத்தில் மா, இன்னும் பின்னால் நெட்டையனாக தென்னையும், பனையும்! அதோ! கூடவே வரும் ஊதா   மலைத்தொடர். ரோடின் ரெண்டு பக்கமும் வரிசையாக வரும் கிராமங்கள்,  சிற்றூர்கள், கொத்துகொத்தாய் மனிதர்கள், கூரைக்கடைகள் என வழி முழுதும் இந்த  மண்ணின்  வாழ்க்கைக் காட்சிகள் -  அலுக்கவே அலுக்காத மூணு மணி நேரம் . சில நேரங்களில் செடி கொடிகளுக்கு நடுவில் பாம்பு போல் வளைந்து செல்லும் ஒற்றையடிப் பாதை, அதனில் 'கடக்  மடக்' என உருளும் ஒற்றை மாட்டு  வண்டி  -  முடிவில்லாமல் நீளும் அந்த பாதையில் நான் அந்த வண்டியில் இருந்தால்.... ' இப்படி கற்பனைகள் மனதில் ஓடிக் கொண்டிருக்கும்.
நான் தனியாகப் போனதும் உண்டு, கூடத் தம்பியும் வந்ததுண்டு. இயல்பான மௌனங்கள், ஒரு பார்வையில்  அடுத்தவர் மனதைப் படிக்கும் அந்த நெருக்கம் -அவனோட அந்த நமட்டு சிரிப்பும், குறும்புப் பார்வையும் இன்னும் அப்படியே கண் முன் நிற்கிறது. (ஆனால் அவன் தான் இல்லை!)
இப்ப சென்னை - திருவண்ணாமலை பாதை மதுரை - திருச்சி ரோடு வழி மாதிரியே ஆயிடுத்து. மாசம் ஒரு முறையாவது திரு -சென்னை , சென்னை -  திரு பாதையில் பயணிக்கிறேன்.
காலை பயணம் - அதே மகிழ்ச்சி! 'தகதகன்னு செம்பிழம்பாய் அதோ   சூரியன் ! மெல்ல மெல்ல புகை மூட்டம் போல தெரிந்த மரம், மட்டை, வயல், வீடு எல்லாம் அழுத்தமான கோட்டுச் சித்திரங்களாய் புலப்படத்  தொடங்கும் மாயாஜாலம்! அதே போல் மரங்கள் முன்னால்  இல்லை, ஆனால் பின்னால் உயர்ந்த தென்னையும், பனையும் மெல்லக் காற்றில் ஆடும் அழகு! பச்சைப் பசேர்னு  கதி ிர் கள் ஆடும் வயல்கள் உண்டு. ஆனால் எல்லாம் ஸ்டேட் ஹை வே , சின்ன நகர்ப்புற ரோடோடு சரி !
6 வழிச்சாலையோ, 4 வழிச்சாலையோ கார்களும், டிரக்'களும்  ஜும் ஜும் னு பறக்க வசதி, ஆனால் சுற்றி வாழும் மக்களின் உயிரோட்டமான தினசரி ஓட்டங்களைக்  காட்டுவதில்லை.
கார் ஜன்னல் கண்ணாடியைக் கீழிறக்கி எதிர் காற்று முகத்தில் மோத சூரியன் இதமான சூட்டுடன் தன் கதிர்களால் மண்ணின் எல்லா உயிர்களையும் எழுப்பும் காட்சி பார்க்க அலுக்கவே அலுக்காது! பெண்ணாத்தூர், மேல்பாப்பம்பாடி, செஞ்சி, ஆலம்பூண்டி , குரங்குகள் தாவி ஓடும் வனத்துறை காடு என்று தாண்டும் வரை பாரதியின்," புதிய காலை உதயமானதே" என்று பாடலாம்.  
ம் .... அப்புறம் ? கண்ணை மூடி குட்டித் தூக்கம் போடலாம்!

And, the story continues...

Like preparing for a journey and looking forward to a visit of a dear one, gearing up for the music performance in auditoriums - in itself is full of excitement. I was there in Chennai, during November and lucky that I could fill my ears with some of the best of season's best music in Bharatiya Vidya bhavan's programmes.
The only concert of Abhishek Raghuram that I could enjoy was at this venue. A brilliant performance, a delight to the heart and the mind at the same time!
" Entharo mahanubhavo"  - He sang it in an entirely different way; the raga essaying, the song and later embellishments - no doubt that this was the 'pièce de résistance' of the programme!
My eyes welled up listening to that deeply meditative and spiritual Sree. I really didn't want to come out of that experience! " இதமான தென்றல் காற்றில் மெல்ல மிதந்து வரும் பிச்சிப் பூவின் வாசம் போல"  'Santhana gopala krishnam upasmahe ' in Kamas and the thillana கோலவள்ளி  குஞ்சரி ...' - each one shone like the precious stones in a beautifully designed neck piece.
I prepared myself for some pushing, bumping and playing musical chair to get a seat for Ra Ga's kutcheri but the crowd that day was beyond any imagination!  The huge auditorium at Bhavan was overflowing - upstairs hall, side wings all filled  and even the outside open space, the staircase, steps at the entrance, tables in the lobby --oof!
It was like a chocolate-loving kid being offered boxes and boxes of chocolates - as I could absorb the multiple sights and colours. All sorts of people - tall and short, young and old, students and rasikas, ladies dressed to the hilt and the casually attired youngsters,people freshly made up for the evening and the tired looking ones straight from work (I was in that category) -  were calling out for attention!
I would have happily listened to the kutcheri from outside but for the constant movement and loud talking(not to forget the selfie loving ladies and others who were trying to peep into my notebook to see what I was writing!)
A Bhakthi -filled 'Chidambara Natarajam Asraye' in Kedaram marked the beginning.The sisters' dedication and hard work is something remarkable. They bring some rarely sung compositions, rare ragas to the public.Their presentation, without compromising traditional values brings out the novelty of innovation. Here they presented Jayachamaraja Odeyar's composition," Amba Shri Rajarajeswari" in Bhogavasantham - a panchama varjya ragam. They do announce if any rare raga is taken up but it was not audible outside. Anyhow, thanks to technology, I was able to glean the information about the ragam from google!Next is again such a rare ragam - Lalithapanchamam and it was 'Paramapurusham' by Swati thirunal.
Then came the star of the day - Kambhoji! How do they do that smooth gliding between mandra sthayi and tarasthayi! within minutes, the swaras tumbled down like a gurgling stream and the raga came alive in all its glory! and that soul stirring song - 'O... Ranagsayee' followed! When they can sustain on the note of Sa or Ga for long in sync with shruti, I just am lost in the hypnotic music - no me, no others, no past!
The audience simply were bought into their virutham singing with a free rein for manodharma singing in ragamalika - "ஆதியாய், நடுவுமாய், அளவிலா அளவுமாகி ", followed by "ஆண்டவன் தரிசனமே, த்யாகேசன் தாண்டவ தரிசனமே".
The Abhang" Janma janma was a fitting finale to the evening's programme.  

The call of December

The cool early morning and evening air with a little welcome bite! Ah...my mind and body gear up for the brief 'winter' in our parts of the country!
The mood of celebration, festivals, parties, feasts go together with a mood of introspection, devotion and Bhakthi.
Where else you can see such strange combinations than in the state's capital - அட , நம்ம சென்னை தாங்க!
I have not forgotten the most important ingredient of Chennai winter,  besides the real and false threats of the visits of cyclones and then the most needed rains - yes, music season, it is!
When in Tiruvannamalai, the months of November and December are much cooler than Chennai and  the ambiance is something else yet, I miss the Sabha hopping - observing the different kinds of people(audience),  occasional sharing of tips about ragas and most importantly the live performances!
This season, I could listen to a number of kutcheries live if not sabha hopping!
There were some regular faces - (pretty thrilled to remember those personalities!!). Then there were young students, the "hep" maamis, globe trotting seniors, discerning listeners.... list goes on!.
 But music flows in and around all these and listening to the creative raga essaying and swara singing amidst all these is an experience that is like an addiction sometimes!.
Yet, there are questions that kept creeping out of the deep corners of my mind now and then - waiting to be noticed and dealt with. Like this question - the crowd for artists like the RaGa sisters, Abhishek Raghuram and Trissur brothers - were all those people, Hmm..., there for the music? Think of those two women, who lifted themselves up on a low table in the lobby, chatting happily, taking selfies and asking me, "is it Ananthabhairavi?" when RaGa sisters began singing "எப்படி மனம் துணிந்ததோ" with such emotion!(Huseni)
(Thanks to them and all those who share the great knowledge of music in social media, I came to know about the association of both ragas and some similar characteristic phrases or 'ஸ்வர பிரயோகங்கள்'.)
The usual question - Does this divine music not appeal to people from different age groups, different social/economic strata?
"Me too" has certainly cast a pall over the concert festivities.  Though nothing has been discussed or even whispered around, It did affect my 100% enjoyment though, when any artist from the list was performing.When people were ready to discount or brush off the complaints and distress calls of women I felt uneasy and sometimes guilty listening to them. (Am I stirring up a hornet's nest?)
That apart, tuning into the connoisseurs''  critiquing performances of the artists  in other Sabhas or overhearing 'news from abroad', listening to the comments about "today's special' in the canteen  - don't they all make the season interesting!
But, "Where is the music in here?"- You are wondering, right?
What about this being the curtain raiser, a teaser?(!!)  

Moving into a new place

Shifting to the spiritual Annamalai - is it only geographical?
Certainly not! Any shift entails meeting and adjusting/accommodating new people, new surroundings, climate, things available and the list goes on.
Here, people are curious as to the reason for the shift. I keep saying whatever my mind picks up at that moment. Why? I myself have not thought of one single reason to move here. The thought suddenly appeared and moment to moment it became a certainty and a natural choice.
I can say Annamalayan called me or Bhagavan Ramana's life and teachings pulled me here! But I wouldn't know that - I mean I am not that spiritually evolved to recognise such a pull if at all it is there within me. (Though I wish to say it is so!)
And I can't deny the underlying calm and that light sense when the burdens roll off slowly. Don't I miss the hectic schedule of Chennai? I do, at times. When I come to know of the different music programmes, a sense of longing hangs heavy around me. I miss the contact and association with children and miss seeing their faces lighting up when something dawns on them and I miss their laughter, questions, mischiefs - yes, That I do.
I tell my mind - " Easy.  All will happen in time." I am trying to find the rhythm of life here and then will get in touch with schools and find the energetic teens to challenge me.
But every person that I meet here adds depth and layers to my experience here. The town is a paradox -  a strange mix of spiritual with the material, simple warm and helpful people with its share of the crooks and criminals and posh guest houses and apartments next to simple traditional houses with garbage strewn everywhere and the drains overflowing, humans and cows happily sharing the roads with bullets and SUVs and the good old bicycles thrown for more colour!
The moment you hit the district road, on your left you see the board welcoming you to Tiruvannamalai district. Then as we proceed, Arunachalam appears and I feel as if there is an imperceptible nod as if to say, "Come, I'm here". Believe it or not, that is the feeling I get when I get my first view of the mountain and then it is a sense of déjà vu.
Here, I am not trying to analyse the cause and reason for all the actions. I am merely trying to describe my feelings.
Wherever I go, I meet interesting people, friendly people, helpful strangers, caring vegetable vendors and many more.
There is an urge to put down my impressions about their attitude, smiles, quirks and views in words. The words and ideas clamour for attention but invariably in the daily routine, this urge sort of dims and takes a back seat.
I may do it in a while as I want to share those wonderful moments when I briefly am in harmony with the entire world around me; when  I break free of the hold on this physical identity for a fleeting second.
I feel I may not be able to do real justice in sketching the character traits of different personalities whom I come across here. But they have a profound impact on me.

Music and me.

ரீங்கரிக்கும்  இரவுப் பூச்சிகளின் இடையறாத 'இம்' எனும் அடிநாதம் ஸ்ருதி போலவும், அவ்வப்போது வரும்  தவளையின் 'கிரிக்' ஓசை தாளம் ஆகவும் ஒரு கச்சேரி! நகரத்திற்கு உரிய எந்த சத்தமும் இங்கே இல்லை!
ஒரு மழை கால மாலை நேரம் . பறவைகள், மிருகங்கள் மட்டும் அவரவர் கூட்டுக்குள் அடையவில்லை - இரவுக்காக - மனிதரும் கூடத்தான்!
இயற்கையில் இரவுக்கான சத்தங்களைத் தவிர எதுவும் கேட்டதில்லை நான்.
ஆ...! இதுக்கு நடுவுலே குழலும், வயலினும் பின்னிப்போட்ட இசை  வலைக்குள் நான்!
லால்குடி ஜெயராமனும் ரமணியும்னா கேட்கவும் வேணுமோ!  திருச்சியில் வெளி  வெராண்டாவில் படுத்தபடியே அப்பா, அம்மாவுடன் கேட்ட ரேடியோ இசைவிழா ஒலிபரப்பும் சங்கீத சம்மேளனக்கச்சேரிகளோட   ஞாபகம் வருது!
ராகம் தானம் பல்லவி - ஆஹா! சிம்மேந்திர மத்தியமம் - சில் என்று பாறையில் வழுக்கி வளைந்து அசைந்து வரும் நீரோடை போல ராகங்களின் அணி வகுப்பு ! - கானடா, நீலாம்பரி , பௌளி, ஆஹிரி, இந்தோளம், தேஷ் !