The urge to share my feelings and impressions about KSV has been there for a week now but a feeling of inadequacy held me back so far. A lot of impressions about him just crowded my thoughts and I had to sort them out first. The urge became persistent that my sense of inadequacy got pushed aside and here I am!
The insatiable longing to listen to good music and learn more about carnatic music has grown as ii grew up, but with little opportunity to work on it. It is only for the last few years, I am able to pursue my heart's desire, the major factor being my association with Shri.KSV. The fiest few occasions I looked up to him with a sense of awe and a great respect. Apart from that, I could not talk to him freely as I thought that a person of his stature and responsibility will not bother to talk to me. I cannot be more mistaken than that for he was a simple soul with time and ears for every one who approached him. True, he had his typical style of communication - a 'no-nonsense' approach with characteristic 'நக்கல், and looking at you straight.
I think, he showed the same understanding to music lovers like me as the one he showed to the artists.
I felt proud and honoured to be related to him through my daughter,s marriage to his son. Then I was able to glimpse into the other dimensions and layers that made the man,KSV -his practical attitude, his 'ரசனை, magnanimous heart, love for children, gruff exterior to cover the love and affection......
The time he used to take out his 'வெத்திலை செல்லம்' and start the ritual of paan eating was something to watch and enjoy. It is like sitting on the banks of காவேரி listening to the rustle of the breeze in the paddy fields, the distant calls of cuckoo, the musical flow of the water and let time flow gently to this rhythm without the roller coaster speed of urban life.
This season, what I want to share as my impressions of the concerts, i dedicate it to this great ரசிகன்'
Enhancing experience?
A decision (partly impulsive), had us all shifting house to centre of all cultural/art happening that is Mylapore. Was pretty excited about the temples at every turning, auditoriums all in three directions at walking distance, the crowded market where you can watch people other than buying household needs, mmm... the list goes on! I settled down to enjoy all these and even had a taste of listening to some good music before all plans went in a smoke. It sounds a bit comical to say I fell down and fractured my toe! But, that was what had been the speed breaker. For the last 3 weeks or so, I'm glued to the sofa, reading, surfing channels, sleeping and trying to guide my daughter in managing the house (To guide??) the rest of the time. So, there is plenty of verbal battles, debates and splitting hair.
I was able to occupy myself somehow up till now. I could now enjoy the nuances and subtle rendering of the ragas and krithis in the morning music programmes broadcast through AIR with a focus because I am sitting in one place. Can listen to the birds getting ready for the day and watch the pranks of those two, three squirrels running up and down on the parapets in front of our balcony, lifting their tails up in the air. I sit and admire the way the pigeons walk on the same parapet like the beautiful belles walking on the ramp. There is this mango tree in front of the window, shooting tender new leaves. From the soft golden hue of the young shoots to the rich green of the mature leaves, the tree is a celebration of all shades of green. The birds and squirrels keep up their music all through the day - different ones for morning, noon and evening - keeping me company. In the distance, the noises of the city play a different tune all muffled and at an optimum level.
In the evenings, I can hear children from the neighbouring apartments playing down stairs. It is a pleasant surprise to see children playing in the evening these days when the trend is to put them through a roller coaster ride of tuition classes.
In the mornings, the main players are my daughter and myself- she busy with the cooking and me giving the occasional tips. (this is the session for learning patience) To give due credit to her, I should say, she plans her work and completes her cooking in the allotted time. It is the follow up work of cleaning, washing clothes where we both have different approach.
Sometimes, she surprises me with her efficient planning and improvisation in cooking methods.
For the last 20 days, she had cooked diet food for me perfectly. The way she moves about calmly without running up and down during her cooking sessions remind me of my 'patti'. Thinking it is all mother's love showering praises? not at all, my friends, for every day we have our quota of 'mother-daughter' sparring too! Like i would say cleaning up after any activity is not something she relishes. And, I have a long list of how to get things done but not in the way she does. However, all those are part of learning experience, I think.
I hope acceptance and accommodating the short comings of people around me come easily after this. I think, I am honest to myself in recognising my irritable atributes though I may not admit them openly!
After the long spell of sitting with myself and frequent sessions of introspection, will I emerge a changed person sans those irritating traits is the question, you have to wait for folks!
(After the break, ha, ha...).
ge
I was able to occupy myself somehow up till now. I could now enjoy the nuances and subtle rendering of the ragas and krithis in the morning music programmes broadcast through AIR with a focus because I am sitting in one place. Can listen to the birds getting ready for the day and watch the pranks of those two, three squirrels running up and down on the parapets in front of our balcony, lifting their tails up in the air. I sit and admire the way the pigeons walk on the same parapet like the beautiful belles walking on the ramp. There is this mango tree in front of the window, shooting tender new leaves. From the soft golden hue of the young shoots to the rich green of the mature leaves, the tree is a celebration of all shades of green. The birds and squirrels keep up their music all through the day - different ones for morning, noon and evening - keeping me company. In the distance, the noises of the city play a different tune all muffled and at an optimum level.
In the evenings, I can hear children from the neighbouring apartments playing down stairs. It is a pleasant surprise to see children playing in the evening these days when the trend is to put them through a roller coaster ride of tuition classes.
In the mornings, the main players are my daughter and myself- she busy with the cooking and me giving the occasional tips. (this is the session for learning patience) To give due credit to her, I should say, she plans her work and completes her cooking in the allotted time. It is the follow up work of cleaning, washing clothes where we both have different approach.
Sometimes, she surprises me with her efficient planning and improvisation in cooking methods.
For the last 20 days, she had cooked diet food for me perfectly. The way she moves about calmly without running up and down during her cooking sessions remind me of my 'patti'. Thinking it is all mother's love showering praises? not at all, my friends, for every day we have our quota of 'mother-daughter' sparring too! Like i would say cleaning up after any activity is not something she relishes. And, I have a long list of how to get things done but not in the way she does. However, all those are part of learning experience, I think.
I hope acceptance and accommodating the short comings of people around me come easily after this. I think, I am honest to myself in recognising my irritable atributes though I may not admit them openly!
After the long spell of sitting with myself and frequent sessions of introspection, will I emerge a changed person sans those irritating traits is the question, you have to wait for folks!
(After the break, ha, ha...).
ge
'Namma Chennai' autokaarar!
A pet topic of conversation for all of us- 'chennaiyites'/ 'madrasis' - the colourful behaviour of our auto drivers is something to be experienced once in a while to attain 'enlightenment'!! They come in all shades and hues and add spice to life in this city. Think, the tour guides should include auto rides as one of the 'Must see and and feel' experience for the foreign tourists.
As soon as you come out of the Central or Egmore stations, you can see them welcoming you to the city as though you are some long lost friend or relative! I can hear some of you snickering. It is all in the way you look at things, folks! I know, you can hardly wait to pour out your grievances, share your harrowing encounters with our own brand of auto drivers. Once you learn the trick of looking at the positive/funny side, you can avail their service happily or give them a wide space and move away.
Difficult though for many of us to avoid this unique clan of human race, let us learn to make the interactions interesting. There is nothing uninteresting or monotonous with them around.
Great many of them do not know any denomination below 100 and so even for a ride to the next street they would ask for 100 rupees without any guilt. Quite a few of them are almost always grumpy and appear to carry the entire city's problems on their shoulders. You would not know whether they are willing to reach you to your destination, agree to the amount you have asked for or have heard you right about the next right turn. They will grunt or at the most mumble in monosyllables.
There is this over concerned types who keep asking you questions that do not anyway help them to drive you to your destination. They will also make 'wise statements' on all and sundry issues proudly revealing their 'gyan'. You should listen to them declaring their view point on political/economic plight of the country on no uncertain terms. Though some can be howlers, there are quite a few of these opinions which give you a different perspective about things.
Sometimes, I start a conversation with them to know the person and it has brought out such interesting insights into the human mind. Thinking back, I realise many such conversations can be developed into gripping stories of success, determination and so on.
One day, I got into an auto at Montieth Road to go to Thiruvanmiyur. I was not happy with the auto fare, but I consoled myself thinking it was a long way to go and perhaps, I was going to give only10or 15 rupees more. I settled down for a quiet ride, with lot of thoughts demanding attention and analysis. But I was not left alone. Our friend, started asking questions about where exactly was I going. He started telling about Maruntheeswarer temple hoping I was going there. When I answered in the negative, he was disappointed. Then he started narrating his experiences - his earlier days with all the bad habits and the undisciplined life, his association with the Vishnava priests, the advice that marked a great change, a beginning for a better life and so on. It was not the story that moved me (though it had great scope for a sentimental drama) but the way he was going on chanting. 'நாலாயிரம்', அபிராமி அந்தாதி, சிவபுராணம் and many such bhakthi poems that shook me immensely. He had started one 'annadhanam' programme in the Thiruvanmiyur temple and said how it gave him great happiness to see the satisfied look on the starved peoples' faces.
That is not all! He revealed with pride, his networking through the net and told me about an European friend he communicates with. He even suggested to me that I should go networking like that and asked for my mail id (which I did not give). An interesting person he turned out to be!I forgot to ask his name as my mind was reeling with all that he said.
There is never that 'going-through-the motion' sort of routine with them around. I think of the other day - many things to be completed within a certain time, delays at every turn and the feeling of restlessness - when the auto driver spoke from the depth of his suffering. It all started with an occasional remark about rash driving and how you cannot say anything to the person who is on the wrong. He had perfectly understood the psyche of the arrogant drivers and the so called road rage when he pointed out the futility of correcting them and advised patience. Then he went on to tell his story of being an alcoholic, his sessions with 'the alcoholic anonymous' and how he had come out of the addiction. then came the saying of the day : 'one has to first like oneself and be happy with himself. Then rest all will into the respective places.'
I can go on thus and that is not the point. What I want to tell you all, my fellow auto travelers of Chennai is, "With an open mind prepared to soak in the stories, get into an auto.You will not be disappointed at least 7 out of 10 times."
Yes, from somewhere, the sound of that song of Rajanikanth floats to your ears, right?
"நான் ஆட்டோகாரன் ஆட்டோகாரன், நாலுந் தெரிந்த ரூட்டுக்காரன்".........
As soon as you come out of the Central or Egmore stations, you can see them welcoming you to the city as though you are some long lost friend or relative! I can hear some of you snickering. It is all in the way you look at things, folks! I know, you can hardly wait to pour out your grievances, share your harrowing encounters with our own brand of auto drivers. Once you learn the trick of looking at the positive/funny side, you can avail their service happily or give them a wide space and move away.
Difficult though for many of us to avoid this unique clan of human race, let us learn to make the interactions interesting. There is nothing uninteresting or monotonous with them around.
Great many of them do not know any denomination below 100 and so even for a ride to the next street they would ask for 100 rupees without any guilt. Quite a few of them are almost always grumpy and appear to carry the entire city's problems on their shoulders. You would not know whether they are willing to reach you to your destination, agree to the amount you have asked for or have heard you right about the next right turn. They will grunt or at the most mumble in monosyllables.
There is this over concerned types who keep asking you questions that do not anyway help them to drive you to your destination. They will also make 'wise statements' on all and sundry issues proudly revealing their 'gyan'. You should listen to them declaring their view point on political/economic plight of the country on no uncertain terms. Though some can be howlers, there are quite a few of these opinions which give you a different perspective about things.
Sometimes, I start a conversation with them to know the person and it has brought out such interesting insights into the human mind. Thinking back, I realise many such conversations can be developed into gripping stories of success, determination and so on.
One day, I got into an auto at Montieth Road to go to Thiruvanmiyur. I was not happy with the auto fare, but I consoled myself thinking it was a long way to go and perhaps, I was going to give only10or 15 rupees more. I settled down for a quiet ride, with lot of thoughts demanding attention and analysis. But I was not left alone. Our friend, started asking questions about where exactly was I going. He started telling about Maruntheeswarer temple hoping I was going there. When I answered in the negative, he was disappointed. Then he started narrating his experiences - his earlier days with all the bad habits and the undisciplined life, his association with the Vishnava priests, the advice that marked a great change, a beginning for a better life and so on. It was not the story that moved me (though it had great scope for a sentimental drama) but the way he was going on chanting. 'நாலாயிரம்', அபிராமி அந்தாதி, சிவபுராணம் and many such bhakthi poems that shook me immensely. He had started one 'annadhanam' programme in the Thiruvanmiyur temple and said how it gave him great happiness to see the satisfied look on the starved peoples' faces.
That is not all! He revealed with pride, his networking through the net and told me about an European friend he communicates with. He even suggested to me that I should go networking like that and asked for my mail id (which I did not give). An interesting person he turned out to be!I forgot to ask his name as my mind was reeling with all that he said.
There is never that 'going-through-the motion' sort of routine with them around. I think of the other day - many things to be completed within a certain time, delays at every turn and the feeling of restlessness - when the auto driver spoke from the depth of his suffering. It all started with an occasional remark about rash driving and how you cannot say anything to the person who is on the wrong. He had perfectly understood the psyche of the arrogant drivers and the so called road rage when he pointed out the futility of correcting them and advised patience. Then he went on to tell his story of being an alcoholic, his sessions with 'the alcoholic anonymous' and how he had come out of the addiction. then came the saying of the day : 'one has to first like oneself and be happy with himself. Then rest all will into the respective places.'
I can go on thus and that is not the point. What I want to tell you all, my fellow auto travelers of Chennai is, "With an open mind prepared to soak in the stories, get into an auto.You will not be disappointed at least 7 out of 10 times."
Yes, from somewhere, the sound of that song of Rajanikanth floats to your ears, right?
"நான் ஆட்டோகாரன் ஆட்டோகாரன், நாலுந் தெரிந்த ரூட்டுக்காரன்".........
Blogathon 4
I came upon this request from Tulika to contribute rhymes/songs of childhood to their 4th blogathon. Immediately faint sounds and hazy images of some songs came to my mind and for a few moments I felt like the child basking in the love and affection of grandparents in that image. Unfortunately, I was not able to remember the words of many of the songs but two which came to my mind immediately. I am sharing those with you.
My grand father(my dad's father) was a great story teller with a fine sense of humour. This is the first song he used to repeat to me when i took my first steps. He used to sing it with actions and small forward and backward movements. Perhaps, that was to strengthen the legs?
The song goes like this:
'Akkara kokku manga!
eandi azhagi manga?
ungathu brahmanar engae?
Kokkum kondu kodaiyum kondu koil
vaasalle koothada poyirukkar!
அக்கார கொக்கு மங்கா!
ஏண்டி அழகி மங்கா,
உங்காத்து பிராமணர் எங்கே?
கொக்கும் கொண்டு கொடையும் கொண்டு
கோயில் வாசல்லே கூத்தாடப் போயிருக்கார்!
It roughly translates as, calling a lady as manga and asking her about the whereabouts of her husband and the lady replying that he has gone to dance in front of the temple with a crane(bird) and an umbrella.
ஏண்டி அழகி மங்கா,
உங்காத்து பிராமணர் எங்கே?
கொக்கும் கொண்டு கொடையும் கொண்டு
கோயில் வாசல்லே கூத்தாடப் போயிருக்கார்!
It roughly translates as, calling a lady as manga and asking her about the whereabouts of her husband and the lady replying that he has gone to dance in front of the temple with a crane(bird) and an umbrella.
It may sound just a meaningless rhyme to entertain a child but may have some significant meaning. (may or may not have). However, the idea was to dramatise a situation with dialogue and add a few dance movements.
Second one was a favourite rhyme of my brother. I loved watching him say it with actions feeling a little shy.
"Koothadu koothadu jinakka,
Kuninthu koothadu jinakka.
panthalilae pavakka,
thonguthadi aelakkaa
paiyan varan parthukko.
panam koduppan vaangikko.
Thanjavur pogalam,
thalayi nalla cheevalaam
tak, tak, tak"
கூத்தாடு கூத்தாடு, ஜைனக்கா
குனிந்து கூத்தாடு ஜைனக்கா
பந்தலிலே பாவக்கா,
தொங்குதடி ஏலக்கா
பையன் வரான் பார்த்துக்கோ,
பணம் கொடுப்பான் வாங்கிக்கோ
தஞ்சாவூர் போகலாம்,
தலையை நல்லா சீவலாம்,
டக், டக் டக்.
It is again to bend and stretch the body.
Translation:
Dance, dance,
bend and dance
bitter-guard is there on the vines
cardamom is hanging.
see, here comes the boy.
Take the money that he gives.
Let us go to Thanjavur
and let us comb the hair nicely.
'jinakka' is like a name and 'tak' is just the sound of steps.
I hope, these two will be useful for you.
Thank you.
To motherhood
All around me, for about a week, media was going into a frenzy, coming down on all viewers and readers with an overdose of Mother's Day celebrations. Mother's love is a wonderful thing, agreed. But do we need to scream about it from roof tops on one particular day (to forget about mother rest of the year?)? Every where, people are waking up to find mothers multitasking and bringing up children against many odds and they gush about 'supermoms'. Mothers are presented in an attractive package for this day and business concerns vie with each other to announce all kinds of discounts and special offers for mothers. The whole drama is ludicrous to observe. Those who want to celebrate, celebrate all you want. But, I feel the entire show just does not even touch the surface of the relation of a mother with her loved ones.
What about rural mothers? Do they qualify to be given the title,'supermoms'? Has this celebration fever spread to the villages? Thousands of mothers accept the role of mothers as given and natural. They do their duty without much ado and their lives may be called uneventful without some dramatic turns and twists. What of these mothers? As long as the sons and daughters recognise the worth of their mothers and demonstrate their love for the mother, that is for all 365 days and that is all to it, I suppose.
Anyhow, I am filled with an urge to share my feelings about all those who were/are mothers to me as, for sometime, this idea was clamouring for attention to be given a shape. I hope this enables all those who know my mother and others to revive their fond memory.
My mother- A fragile lady not very healthy but made it up with her enthusiasm and full involvement in whatever she was doing. All in the neighbourhood would flock to her and she would rush to anyone in need of help. She had this sense of loss that I was not brought up by her but waiting to shower affection and attention on me when I stayed with her during holidays. She would eagerly listen to my stories about school/college and even my smallest achievement was a great thing of pride for her. When in my teens, her frank, unreserved open praises used to surprise me, for I had not known elders being open that way. In every sense of the word, she was a friend to me first. But her mother's instinct was also intact in reaching out to me in silent support during later years. The way she would jump into any job wholeheartedly with such passion be it making kolam designs in front of the house, scrubbing vessels to a sparkling level, plaiting long hairs of those close to her, feeding the stray animals in the vicinity or cooking the family's favourite dishes and serving it with her brand of உபசாரம்! ( who can forget her mouth watering வெந்தயக்குழம்பு, பருப்புசிலி,பொரிச்சகுழம்பு among others?) After a long day of work, She would never fail to freshen up, change her saree and be ready to welcome those coming tired from office with a hot cup of coffee. I would cherish a typical evening scene where she would be fresh and neat and rendering so many slokas in her soft and melodious voice.
My patti is the one who brought me up imbibing in me values and appreciation for all art forms. A great story teller, she was and through her stories both mythological and real(from her life), I got my true education. Sleeping or awake, it is her words that follow me today and she was such a strong presence in my life.Would not say it in many words, but she was so fond of me and I drew my comfort and strength in her lap. Her insatiable quest for knowledge and untiring zest for life are what i would like to have made as my own even in small measures.
My Chithi: I remember the day she came into our house after marrying my chithappa very clearly. Did she look at me, smile at me once or twice with whom did she talk first - this was how my cousin and myself were waiting to be noticed by her! In the course of time, she became so close to me and she is the mother now. I remember all those nights when we would put our heads close and talk in whisper so as not to disturb those sleeping. How we used to critically review Sujatha's works, Indumathi and Vasanthi's writing ; a good concert of classical music! She had introduced me among her friends as her daughter only, many a time. She is equally proud of me as she is of her children! She fills in the void left by my mom and patti instinctively and I enjoy a great emotional rapport with her. Her grit, hard work and immeasurable sacrifices are behind the success of each of my cousins. She is a remarkable woman!
There are many others who have shown தாயின் பரிவு which has made me feel cherished and blessed. Here, I cannot but mention the role reversal played by my daughters! There are times they like looking after my needs physical as well as emotional, take great pleasure in giving me guideline as how to behave, what to talk in certain places( may be they are thrilled with this job?!), spending time with me when otherwise I would have felt a trifle lonely and so the list goes on!
So I end this piece with प्रणाम to all those who reach out to all living beings with spontaneous affection and compassion. தாயிற் சிறந்த கோயில் இல்லை.
What about rural mothers? Do they qualify to be given the title,'supermoms'? Has this celebration fever spread to the villages? Thousands of mothers accept the role of mothers as given and natural. They do their duty without much ado and their lives may be called uneventful without some dramatic turns and twists. What of these mothers? As long as the sons and daughters recognise the worth of their mothers and demonstrate their love for the mother, that is for all 365 days and that is all to it, I suppose.
Anyhow, I am filled with an urge to share my feelings about all those who were/are mothers to me as, for sometime, this idea was clamouring for attention to be given a shape. I hope this enables all those who know my mother and others to revive their fond memory.
My mother- A fragile lady not very healthy but made it up with her enthusiasm and full involvement in whatever she was doing. All in the neighbourhood would flock to her and she would rush to anyone in need of help. She had this sense of loss that I was not brought up by her but waiting to shower affection and attention on me when I stayed with her during holidays. She would eagerly listen to my stories about school/college and even my smallest achievement was a great thing of pride for her. When in my teens, her frank, unreserved open praises used to surprise me, for I had not known elders being open that way. In every sense of the word, she was a friend to me first. But her mother's instinct was also intact in reaching out to me in silent support during later years. The way she would jump into any job wholeheartedly with such passion be it making kolam designs in front of the house, scrubbing vessels to a sparkling level, plaiting long hairs of those close to her, feeding the stray animals in the vicinity or cooking the family's favourite dishes and serving it with her brand of உபசாரம்! ( who can forget her mouth watering வெந்தயக்குழம்பு, பருப்புசிலி,பொரிச்சகுழம்பு among others?) After a long day of work, She would never fail to freshen up, change her saree and be ready to welcome those coming tired from office with a hot cup of coffee. I would cherish a typical evening scene where she would be fresh and neat and rendering so many slokas in her soft and melodious voice.
My patti is the one who brought me up imbibing in me values and appreciation for all art forms. A great story teller, she was and through her stories both mythological and real(from her life), I got my true education. Sleeping or awake, it is her words that follow me today and she was such a strong presence in my life.Would not say it in many words, but she was so fond of me and I drew my comfort and strength in her lap. Her insatiable quest for knowledge and untiring zest for life are what i would like to have made as my own even in small measures.
My Chithi: I remember the day she came into our house after marrying my chithappa very clearly. Did she look at me, smile at me once or twice with whom did she talk first - this was how my cousin and myself were waiting to be noticed by her! In the course of time, she became so close to me and she is the mother now. I remember all those nights when we would put our heads close and talk in whisper so as not to disturb those sleeping. How we used to critically review Sujatha's works, Indumathi and Vasanthi's writing ; a good concert of classical music! She had introduced me among her friends as her daughter only, many a time. She is equally proud of me as she is of her children! She fills in the void left by my mom and patti instinctively and I enjoy a great emotional rapport with her. Her grit, hard work and immeasurable sacrifices are behind the success of each of my cousins. She is a remarkable woman!
There are many others who have shown தாயின் பரிவு which has made me feel cherished and blessed. Here, I cannot but mention the role reversal played by my daughters! There are times they like looking after my needs physical as well as emotional, take great pleasure in giving me guideline as how to behave, what to talk in certain places( may be they are thrilled with this job?!), spending time with me when otherwise I would have felt a trifle lonely and so the list goes on!
So I end this piece with प्रणाम to all those who reach out to all living beings with spontaneous affection and compassion. தாயிற் சிறந்த கோயில் இல்லை.
The soft spoken 'Ahimsawadi' who was my Appa
The other day I boarded a train to go to Thiruchirappalli. That time my mind was so preoccupied with so many thoughts and emotions that the usual excitement of a train travel was not there.
பாரிமகளிர் தம் தந்தையின் இழப்பினால் ஏங்கிப் பாடிய
"அற்றை திங்கள் அவ்வெண்ணிலவில் ..... நினைவில் வந்து வந்து படுத்தியது.
Those with some knowledge of Thamizh will know about Sangam literature. This verse brings out the feeling of loss of the father. The same sky and the same moon is there, but the father whom they adored was not there to enjoy the beauty like the other day. The sense of loss and loneliness just engulfs me whenever I remember the verse.
Why did that just pop into my thoughts that evening in the train? Is it because I was reminded of the times I made the same trip to my parents place? The associated sensations, smells and other things suddenly brought out from some safe corner of my mind, the calm and the melancholic face of my father. A myriad of images in various situations flooded my mind clamouring for attention. The time when he came to send me off after my marriage with such longing in his eyes, those times when he came to receive me during school holidays with the entire face lit up (I was supposed to be his favourite?!) or the times (though very few) when he would look with disappointment and concern if I had not behaved with kindness or shown care for others or those times when he indulged any of us with only a serene look- all these were rolling in front of my eyes.
He was not comfortable showing his emotions. It is all very subtle- the play of emotions on his face. If we guess the feelings behind his gestures, he would turn red. His shyness was adorable and we used to make fun of that. Such a gentle soul was he that my brother and myself would take extreme care not to offend him. He never had raised his voice and never demanded or commanded us to do this or not to do that. When both of us wanted to stay with our grandparents as children, He could have used strong words and strictly ordered us to go with him. But, he said he could not and should not take us against our wish. He felt that he should respect the wish of the other person even if that person is young.
The way he treated my mother was such a joy to watch. He took care of her like she was a precious diamond. He did not get ruffled by her nagging and complaints. On the contrary, he went out of his way to satisfy her desires. Their marriage might have set some tongues wagging for he was fair complexioned with a shade of pink and she was dark complexioned. I have a feeling, movies and media of late have blown it out of proportion and fed people the idea about dark and fair. They had no problem and their families had absolutely no problem about it.
So, going to the city where they lived for a long time triggered memories from the past. Different kinds of people who were associated with him remember him with respect and love. I know a few who would say, I would do anything for 'sir'.
End of the train travel brought the curtain down on this memory trail as the city is nothing like I used to know. Everywhere 'developmental' work has taken its toll and talking about it will make another story altogether. Once again, appa went back to his cherished corner in my mind and I got back to the every day activities.
பாரிமகளிர் தம் தந்தையின் இழப்பினால் ஏங்கிப் பாடிய
"அற்றை திங்கள் அவ்வெண்ணிலவில் ..... நினைவில் வந்து வந்து படுத்தியது.
Those with some knowledge of Thamizh will know about Sangam literature. This verse brings out the feeling of loss of the father. The same sky and the same moon is there, but the father whom they adored was not there to enjoy the beauty like the other day. The sense of loss and loneliness just engulfs me whenever I remember the verse.
Why did that just pop into my thoughts that evening in the train? Is it because I was reminded of the times I made the same trip to my parents place? The associated sensations, smells and other things suddenly brought out from some safe corner of my mind, the calm and the melancholic face of my father. A myriad of images in various situations flooded my mind clamouring for attention. The time when he came to send me off after my marriage with such longing in his eyes, those times when he came to receive me during school holidays with the entire face lit up (I was supposed to be his favourite?!) or the times (though very few) when he would look with disappointment and concern if I had not behaved with kindness or shown care for others or those times when he indulged any of us with only a serene look- all these were rolling in front of my eyes.
He was not comfortable showing his emotions. It is all very subtle- the play of emotions on his face. If we guess the feelings behind his gestures, he would turn red. His shyness was adorable and we used to make fun of that. Such a gentle soul was he that my brother and myself would take extreme care not to offend him. He never had raised his voice and never demanded or commanded us to do this or not to do that. When both of us wanted to stay with our grandparents as children, He could have used strong words and strictly ordered us to go with him. But, he said he could not and should not take us against our wish. He felt that he should respect the wish of the other person even if that person is young.
The way he treated my mother was such a joy to watch. He took care of her like she was a precious diamond. He did not get ruffled by her nagging and complaints. On the contrary, he went out of his way to satisfy her desires. Their marriage might have set some tongues wagging for he was fair complexioned with a shade of pink and she was dark complexioned. I have a feeling, movies and media of late have blown it out of proportion and fed people the idea about dark and fair. They had no problem and their families had absolutely no problem about it.
So, going to the city where they lived for a long time triggered memories from the past. Different kinds of people who were associated with him remember him with respect and love. I know a few who would say, I would do anything for 'sir'.
End of the train travel brought the curtain down on this memory trail as the city is nothing like I used to know. Everywhere 'developmental' work has taken its toll and talking about it will make another story altogether. Once again, appa went back to his cherished corner in my mind and I got back to the every day activities.
To Friends
Some places, some people light that something deep inside me that I want to jump with joy and break into a song (like our actors do!) This happened on the evening when colleagues/friends from the same school got together. I was on a high from the time I got invited as I feel happy to be remembered as a friend.
So I decided to meet them all briefly at least for I was to leave the same evening on a trip out of city. It was about some 20 years ago that we came together entering a new phase in our lives - taking up a career besides being young mothers of active, strong willed youngsters. Some of us in the group were veterans in the sense, they had been teachers for some years. Still, there was some magic or should I say chemistry working to bind us into a beautiful friendship. It was after a deep personal loss I donned this new role of a professional with trepidation and with a deep sense of sorrow. They welcomed me unconditionally and stood by me whenever I had a crisis(and that was plenty!)
The wonderful time we had is also due to the enterprising Principal who was ever ready to experiment and given us enough freedom to improvise and innovate. The picture will not be complete If I do not mention the efficiency of our vice principal who could sometimes be a terror (only, if you do not complete the work as per her expectation and that can be many?!) She was practical and her alert brain, My God! could challenge 10 computers at the same time! Despite my aversion to correction, if i could meet the deadline time and again at later stage, credit goes to her.
We made a great team which I have realised much later only. Surprising, is it not? I learnt to be patient with kids, to appreciate their out of the box imagination, to coax work out of them and had fun doing my work.
So I decided to meet them all briefly at least for I was to leave the same evening on a trip out of city. It was about some 20 years ago that we came together entering a new phase in our lives - taking up a career besides being young mothers of active, strong willed youngsters. Some of us in the group were veterans in the sense, they had been teachers for some years. Still, there was some magic or should I say chemistry working to bind us into a beautiful friendship. It was after a deep personal loss I donned this new role of a professional with trepidation and with a deep sense of sorrow. They welcomed me unconditionally and stood by me whenever I had a crisis(and that was plenty!)
The wonderful time we had is also due to the enterprising Principal who was ever ready to experiment and given us enough freedom to improvise and innovate. The picture will not be complete If I do not mention the efficiency of our vice principal who could sometimes be a terror (only, if you do not complete the work as per her expectation and that can be many?!) She was practical and her alert brain, My God! could challenge 10 computers at the same time! Despite my aversion to correction, if i could meet the deadline time and again at later stage, credit goes to her.
We made a great team which I have realised much later only. Surprising, is it not? I learnt to be patient with kids, to appreciate their out of the box imagination, to coax work out of them and had fun doing my work.
An important aspect of the growing friendship was the simple acceptance of the person with all the eccentricities and attitudes. They did point out certain undesirable aspects but never criticised the others. I had a brief time of 5 years only with them. But on and off I used to see some of them in marriages and other functions. But, this time, it was mainly to spend time together and what a revelation it was! I could not spend a leisurely time with them and did not get to meet one or two friends as they were late.
The warmth and the faces lighting up from within when seeing me simply overwhelmed me! The way they fondly recalled some of my quirky habits or showed pride in my achievements is what gives me hope and joy in living!
Saying 'Thank you' is inadequate to express my feelings to them. But I want to convey to all of them how I value their friendship. It is a humbling experience and I know the only way to repay such goodness is by spreading good will and cheers to whomever I can.
In some of the worst moments of my life, they were there waiting for me to emerge stronger and a better person. I can but take it as God's way of looking after me.
This is dedicated to you friends from JGVV. My salutations to you all.The warmth and the faces lighting up from within when seeing me simply overwhelmed me! The way they fondly recalled some of my quirky habits or showed pride in my achievements is what gives me hope and joy in living!
Saying 'Thank you' is inadequate to express my feelings to them. But I want to convey to all of them how I value their friendship. It is a humbling experience and I know the only way to repay such goodness is by spreading good will and cheers to whomever I can.
In some of the worst moments of my life, they were there waiting for me to emerge stronger and a better person. I can but take it as God's way of looking after me.
Music, once again!
It was with the promise that I will write a second part to describe my impressions and feelings about the music concerts, I concluded my last posting. But it is a promise not meant to be fulfilled. I enjoyed myself thoroughly and there were many a time when I was elevated to a higher plane of bliss. Then why did i not write about them? Almost all the days of the season, I was fortunate to listen to good music, soak in it,revel in it and let myself soaked in romantic Kalyani, a grand and magnificent Thodi, a soothing Sankarabharanam smooth flowing Mohanam and many more such ragas. The 'Vidwat'of TM Krishna/'Bhawa in Jeyashree's singing/the depth and commitment in Sanjay's music - the list goes on. But what I experienced while listening to Aruna Sairam was astounding! In terms of sruti, accommodating the accompanying artists, reaching out to the audience and taking the listeners along with her and bringing out the true emotion behind every song, I would say, she simply is marvelous! While in that mood of listening, I could not put my feelings into words as my mind was full of swaras and words would have reduced the experience into a verbal analysis.(That was the way I felt). Sometimes, one feels the urge to share the feelings but this is not one of those time, I guess.
Then, came another concert of Aruna, as part of 'Smrutha Dhvani', to raise funds for supporting retiring accompanying artists. It was not a performance in 'kutcheri' format but a beautiful rendering of some great songs in different Indian languages. Aruna understands the lyrics, connects with the composer's feeling with sensitivity and sings the composition with dedication and in an utmost uninhibited manner. She touches a chord in the deep recess of your heart.
Kabir's 'suno, suno', she sang to the accompaniment of tabla, pakhawaj more than the others and it was a total bliss. The sufi essence of bhakti slowly pulled me into it that tears filled my eyes. She sang one sloka on Devi, A Gregorian chant, a Bharati song on Allah and Gurbani all as one item. It was not merely nivel but again touching because of her dedication and soulful singing.
It was the complete package that appealed to the aesthetic sense. The stage set up with the background pictures on the screen behind the artists just enhanced the beauty of the programme and enriched the listening experience.
If one feels I am lavish in my praise and may be exaggerating, each one is entitled to his/her view. I came back from the programme charged afresh that I sat down to write this after a long period of inaction.
Then, came another concert of Aruna, as part of 'Smrutha Dhvani', to raise funds for supporting retiring accompanying artists. It was not a performance in 'kutcheri' format but a beautiful rendering of some great songs in different Indian languages. Aruna understands the lyrics, connects with the composer's feeling with sensitivity and sings the composition with dedication and in an utmost uninhibited manner. She touches a chord in the deep recess of your heart.
- Essaying of Amirthavarshini was like listening to the முதல் மழை of the monsoon falling on the trees, rivers, and on the parched earth! Her accompaniments as usual had such coordination and understanding with her that every song evoked distinct feelings and emotions. If it was the undulating expanse of sand and the gently swaying camels that came to your mind with 'Vaishnav Janato', it was Ganga in all her splendour who nourishes the millions of this land for countless years called to you when she sang Kabir's 'Suno, suno'.
Kabir's 'suno, suno', she sang to the accompaniment of tabla, pakhawaj more than the others and it was a total bliss. The sufi essence of bhakti slowly pulled me into it that tears filled my eyes. She sang one sloka on Devi, A Gregorian chant, a Bharati song on Allah and Gurbani all as one item. It was not merely nivel but again touching because of her dedication and soulful singing.
It was the complete package that appealed to the aesthetic sense. The stage set up with the background pictures on the screen behind the artists just enhanced the beauty of the programme and enriched the listening experience.
If one feels I am lavish in my praise and may be exaggerating, each one is entitled to his/her view. I came back from the programme charged afresh that I sat down to write this after a long period of inaction.
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