Today, 15th May, is International Day of families, I was informed by Whatsapp message. Isn't that a convenient coincidence that I was thinking of the cousins battalion I am blessed with!The quiet morning hours I am alone starting the day's routines reminiscing about some past kitchen scenes, the conversations associated with certain smells and vegetables; that's when I was thinking of those 'cousins' who are there for me in times of need!.
A smell, an image or even the distant bird calls and morning noises from neighbourhood apartments open the door to that distant point of time. I remember this cousin who without hesitation and with lot of love, had welcomed me at her place in another city; the other cousin who was ready to take care of our thatha (who loved to gallivant around), a stubborn centenarian when I had to go out urgently; or this cousin, who showers me with affection, good food and share her precious time talking with me for hours when I visit my home town.
Yes, this morning, my thoughts soothed me and led me to realise how blessed I am. I had been brought up by my grandparents (my mother's parents). Thus I appear to gain along list of relatives from my mother's side, father's side and the four grand parent's side. By the way, each one of you may gain such network but it may not be an operational one what with families moving away and losing contacts. Growing in a city in deep south (not a metro) six decades ago kept all of these lines of network alive for me what with frequent visit of people and the strong bond with the ancestral village. By the way, I was blessed to have a grand mother who had a sharp mind,with an insatiable curiosity and who could weave a story around every event and person! All elders at home would go to her (like google up!) to know any thing about any member of the extended family. With hardly a pause, She would bring you an update on them!
(If you have any idea of the Indian familial ties, the web of relations and if you can place who is who and what is the name of the relationship to you, your brain can store all those dates and chronology and dynastic details in history! ) She was simply the One!
But, this is not about her and she deserves a book dedicated to her. So, I was not some vaguely remembered distant cousin in this huge network of cousins - maternal/paternal, once removed/twice removed or any which way you describe it - but one who is remembered and included in the social events.
Yes, there is women-cousins bonding but I include here all of them -cousins. I have a horde of 'cousin-brothers' as we call in India. I can be part of their discussions of all things under the Sun! They had been there for me in all those moments when I needed the silent support. And I get teased also by the 'boys'!
There is an interesting inner circle here of all of us cousins who form the teaching fraternity of the city! And group of us there who love music and that brings us in tune with each other. Latha and I share one cosy camaraderie and she steps in for timely help without any fuss. How can I forget her help with finalising my assessments and calculating the averages (for my B.ED)! She will share the information about the music she enjoyed,immediately. This inclusion - I am there in their thoughts - gives a wonderful sense of belonging.
I am not sure of earlier generations, but in my generation which see lot of changes (and coping with them too) I see a broadening perspective, less of gossip and appreciation for genuine relationship.
That's why I said, I felt blessed with this 'Reserve of cousins'.
I dedicate this to all my cousins who are there when I stand alone, who never raise their eyes critically at me who include me in their thoughts and who readily extend a helping hand at the right time - be it Seetha from Madurai, Jayanthi or Geetha, Sashis from Delhi, Geetha and Vijayas from Hyderabad and all others not mentioned here!
The list is very long and so , all of you, my cousins, show the characteristic understanding and call me when you can; include me in your thoughts as you normally do. More strength to cousin force!
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