The emotions of traditions

Celebrating Savitri pooja/’Karadaiyar Nonbu’ my way.

This ‘vrath’ or nonbu is observed on the day of transition of Sun from Aquarius into Pisces. That usually occurs when the Tamizh month of Masi (Magh – January/February) ends and the next month- Panguni (Phalguna) begins.

Married women observe this ‘Vrath by fasting on the last day of month of Masi for the well-being and long life of their husbands. Sometimes, unmarried women also observe this vrath to get an ideal life partner. Just before the birth of the next month (Panguni), they worship mother goddess and offer the traditional sweet called ‘Karadai’ blending rice floor and jaggery and steaming the round shaped ‘adais. We add handful of cooked (lobhia/chavli – Karamani) black eyed beans and grated coconut also to this. Then with a seasoning of mustard, green chili, ginger and curry leaves make a salty dish as well. One should not forget to keep a cup of butter along with the other offerings.

(How anyone would have thought of these subtle combinations??” I wonder!)   “Don’t men find the need to pray for the well-being and long life of their wives?”

I love the story of Savitri, the determined woman, who challenged Yama, the god of death to bring back her husband alive. Her resourcefulness and keen observation of the lord of death and his language makes Yama yield to her request and arguments. She pleases the lord with her determination and gets three boons – she enables her father-in-law to regain his eyesight and also his kingdom; her parents are blessed with a male child and Yama agrees to her request of begetting 100 children!! She then points out that, being a loving wife, she cannot have her children without her husband alive. Yama, pleased with her presence of mind bestows the three boons.

Ever since I have first heard this story, it is her self-confidence and resourcefulness that have made a deep impact on me. Her father appreciates her intelligence and respects her choice of husband. (even though he comes to know of his limited time on this earth.)

I loved to be around the place when Patti (grand mom) prepared the special delicacies and observed these traditions as there was one aesthetic flow to her movements that blended with all things around her and a rhythm to her processes that soothed me. Then there were those delicacies! Hm…. I can smell the aroma, feel the texture and the taste bursting on my tongue even now!

This set the trend and pattern in my life to follow all the traditions and cook all the delicacies that she created as she continues to be present in all these actions, thoughts, the aroma of cardamom, jaggery boiling or the offerings and prayers. I feel enveloped in her loving hug!

So, I don’t care for the social taboos and stigmas like ‘meant-for-married-women only’; ‘not- for-widows’. I go ahead and observe all those traditions and make the special dishes and offer to God. This time, I paused on the day of ‘Savitri pooja’ – reflected about all these and the great woman.  I started a new invocation and offered a new prayer – calling on Savitri to pass down her resourcefulness, determination and courage to us, all women in need of that. I reached out to all other wise women and nurturing women to guide us through this life. That, of course included a very special prayer to my Patti.