The Month of Love - February

I associate happy feelings and a sense of expectation, with the month of February(completing one academic year and awaiting the new year). There is new life emerging all around, and the birds and animals I watch appear to be more alive than before. 

These days, I am more curious to find out why it is so. One thought stands out, and that is  my association with the general rhythm of the environment around me. When I pause now to observe all these emotions, I understand that it is the onset of spring, with the warm sun nudging all life with his rays and letting his energy flow into every thing on earth.  Still, there remains a crisp bite to the air and we all enjoy cool evenings and nights. 
Since my school days, when I was a clumsy, skinny girl of 11, I have fond memories of this month; the tentative friendships that started at the beginning of the academic year, would have developed into a comfortable camaraderie.
I still remember the hurried frenzy of completing learning portions, the surprise tests, preparing for the examination and the occasional combined studies very vividly. I have also sensed a different excitement thinking about the holidays, to be spent with my parents (particularly with my Appa). 
In the traditional set up that I grew up in, this month was one of the two occasions (annually) when I used to get a new set of clothes for my birthday!  (I had no idea of my date of birth as it was my birth star that people at home paid attention to. This was calculated on the basis of the tamizh calendar.)
During my college days, this month became one of the most cherished times with projects, competitions, sports day and annual day functions and farewell parties. 

  

Yet another particular day in this month stands out in my mind. Consider it one of those eccentricities of mine! (I certainly have a list!) Here it is! Psst! my favourite number is seven. Every teenager has  one idea/hobby/personality, that resonates and manifests in all our behaviour obsessively for days together and one fine morning, it disappears and shifts to something else entirely. For sometime, I was crazy about numerology. I happened to come across a book on that subject at home and the fever caught me! Through a series of calculations, I found out number seven is my numerological profile number.

When I think of the six plus decades  of my life here, I recognise the connection with this number. The best and the closest -to- my- heart connection is with 7th February. 

 

That was the day, I got married to a  wonderful human being, who had led me to discover my inner strengths and talents. It was with a lot of doubt, fear of the stranger and so many other unexplainable questions, that I faced that day. (Enjoying the attention and having a lot of my loved ones around me notwithstanding!)

The very same evening, he showed me his care for fellow human beings, by the way he listened to me completely - yes, not only to my words but to me wholly. It was an exhilarating experience, and I sensed in that moment that in the gamble of arranged marriages, I had hit a jackpot!. Two days later, when I was travelling towards Central station (Chennai) to board Howrah mail along with my father and my husband, the tentative shoot of love took a firm hold and bloomed with leaves and flowers to grow into a lovely plant. He turned around, and took hold of my father's hands in his huge hands, looked into my father's eyes and told him, " Don't worry, Appa. I'll take care of her." so gently and with empathy. The moment is etched so deep in my heart that I can shout my love for him unabashedly.

I earned an adoring little sister that day. My sister-in-law was hardly 12 years old and followed me closely, like a loving puppy. It was a moving experience for me, as I had not so far seen demonstrative people. (The brother and sister duo, I realised later, were and are gregarious human beings. ) This sister, has grown to be beyond a sister in law to me, with her intuition and thoughtfulness.                

I have known the phrase," Living life to the hilt" but to experience it was a dream come true! Every moment of my life spent with my husband was that - nothing held back and to live in the moment fully!. I can say it was a very short time of six years and a little more, that melted like ice under the sun. 

But it was celebration of life's each moment, like the slow motion frames on a screen. As I live my life now, I get a whiff of the winter smell, the hot phulkas (whole wheat flat breads which are soft and fluffy) cooking, the sounds of the evening prayer and bhajans from the jawans' living quarters, the ricocheting sounds from the training ground, and the bellowing voice of my husband. I remember the  sense of coming home, in the security of his broad strong shoulders and I recall the romantic moments that his eyes could create - on and off! I relish them all and send a prayer of gratitude to the universe for the connection and joyful life! So, it is about 197 million , two hundred thirty one thousand  and seven hundred and twelve most precious seconds of my life (197,231,712) ,  the eternal fountain of life and joy.