After the exam mania of March, if you think, a period of relaxation follows, (the kind some of us used to know two or three decades ago) people will look at you strangely perhaps with pity for your slow understanding of the ways of the present world. Today’s parents will insist that they provide their kids better opportunities than themselves. They are ready to shell out a huge sum of money on planning and implementing a series of holiday activities for their kids. Parents’ dream of ‘name and fame’ for their precious children is what drives them to set about holiday plan similar to planning a military operation.
Come March and we can see the city’s parent community abuzz with preparations for the ‘soon to follow’ holidays. Whenever parents meet in the school campus or outside, they will be comparing notes and try to choose among the mushrooming summer camps the best and the most suitable for their wards. For some it will be the need to sharpen their mathematical skills and aptitude; yet others will look out for improvement of social skills; for some parents the norm will be an all round personality development; the list and requirements stretch sky high. You cannot but notice the care and concern of today’s parents. (Ignorant are those who think the parents are over ambitious and pushy?!)
Holidays concern the children, don’t they? Are the kids part of the planning and scheming for the holidays? Or, is the plan part of the package that has to be accepted by the kids as a standard parental provision? Perhaps, within the elite group at the top, the children are so privileged to demand a continental tour or African safari or some such thing. Otherwise, I guess the general practice would be for the parents to make arrangements as ‘responsible parents’.
During holidays, if some of the youngsters go for coaching camps for cricket/ tennis/ table tennis that stretch from early morning to late afternoons nobody finds it strange. It is true that the children would love playing better than their other routine of ‘studying’. I wonder about the objective and attitude of parents who send their kids to such camps. There is always this expectation of some ‘return’ or benefit to result from these activities. As you put the raw material into the machine at the beginning, the crude, undervalued material gets processed and slide down the conveyer belt as a refined, value added finished product, the parents expect a Sachin swinging his bat for a square drive or Leander Paes coming out with a timely forehand return at the end of the camp. (They are realistic and so they do not expect it at the first camp itself but are very definite about it at the end of the third or fourth camp!) Now, tell me, would the children enjoy the games as they should have? There is always the target to reach: a goal to achieve: a dream (never mind even if it is their parents’ dream presented as theirs!) to fulfill. With the Damocles’ sword hanging above their head, the charm and fun of simple playing disappears.
We see a similar situation be it enhancing the artistic abilities or learning to be a dancer or striving to be an ‘all rounder’. Recently, I happened to witness a scene where the agitated mother was trying to find out why her shy son had not come forward and dance with a stage presence and attitude outshining other kids? Remember, her son had attended two summer camps and he must be about eight or nine years old. He likes the fun of letting go and shaking his legs to the music but not keen on being in the limelight, may be. However, the mother would have felt upset when her son was not able to do what some other kids appear to do effortlessly. The child’s achievements are taken as the parents’ achievements, of course??! As a parent, I can perfectly understand the feeling and wish that one wants recognition and appreciation for the children. When it becomes a craving, an obsession that the parents ignore all other things around them and more so about the fears, likes, aptitude and dreams of the kids, it is sad. Am I wrong in thinking they are not our possessions?
As usual, triggered by one incident the mind took off on a roller coaster ride that jumbled all thoughts and tossed them in a heap. One thing stands out, when I see all the so called holiday excitement today. I thank my stars that I am not at the receiving end of those ‘privileges’ as a kid. I hope that I have not handed out a structured but dull holiday package to my children?! On a day when the whole family gets together and travels down the memory lane, It is those spontaneous actions and spending unstructured but quality time together that will forge closer bonds. Perhaps, the people of earlier generation can relate to the situation when I mention those lazy summer afternoons spent in being introduced to the magic world of books or the cousins getting together planning mischief and finding ways to escape the wrath of elders! The lucky ones could remember the time spent in the vast open spaces of the ancestral village and going after those green, tangy mangoes stealthily. Yes…, I can visualise the vigorous nods of some of you. You want now to take the trip to that day in your thatha’s place, go ahead and have fun!
